Monthly Archives: April 2013

On trying not to burst into flames of rage…

I spend a great deal of time trying to calm myself down. Today I was talking to a friend about another friend’s dissertation defense. The friend who was defending and I have the same adviser. Apparently, for this friend our adviser threw a party after his defense. For me, we had a glass of wine. I know that I receive different treatment than hir other advisees, but hearing these stories only rubs it in. Upon hearing this story I had to focus on not becoming enraged. I was also having lunch with another friend today who told me that she wished that someone would read her dissertation and tell her what to do with it. Then she told me that one of the faculty members, who is a very prominent expert in her exact field, read her dissertation and gave her several pages of comments about it. I was lucky that I got a cursory read by my committee members and that’s all the help with it that I have gotten. It seems like some people are handed keys to the kingdom and others have to fight tooth and nail to pry the door open a sliver. And the crazy thing is that they don’t even seem to realize that things are being handed to them. Just writing this I am becoming infuriated…and I must calm down.

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My Class has a momentum of it’s own

I’m teaching a half semester course and I have found it quite challenging. It seems like I have very little time to go into anything with any depth. Perhaps I should have constructed the class differently. I feel like I am not doing well with this course though. I do have a narrative that brings the class together, but I don’t think that narrative is obvious to the students. I have been trying to make those connections, but I feel like they’re not coming across. I also don’t have enough accountability mechanisms in the class and students are too nonchalant. To be fair, their nonchalance may stem from the fact that the course is 2 credits and half a semester. It also may stem from the fact that many of them are upperclassmen. The end of the class will come soon enough and I will be delivered from this feeling of failing. I think I will chalk this semester up to a learning experience and just try to do better next time.